Rated: NR | Runtime 72 | AKA: The Feature Film I'm No Longer Talking About
Video Jerks Customer
I remember from DARE class in the sixth grade; if I come across a snuff film, I'm supposed to report it to the cops. What if I come across an 'almost' snuff film?
"The Film I'm No Longer Talking About" is as close to a real life snuff film as I have ever seen and it scares me.
I will say that I was unable to get the subtitles to work on this movie because I had loaned my multi-region DVD player to Ricky Spinks so he could watch some Japanese porno and he lost my remote (thanks for nothing, Ricky). I think I was able to figure out most of the dialog with some help from Bing.com and the context of how stuff was being said.
A bunch of Danish dudes win some money from betting on horses and they decide to kill a friend and film it.
This one dude starts talking on a rooftop in Copenhagen about how they were going to throw their friend off the roof. Then he goes and talks to his dad about how bummed he is that he didn't do it.
Cut back to 2001 and still reeling from 9/11, a bunch of dudes get together under the pretense of making an "occult" film. They build sets, rent cameras and then find a victim.
There is lots of walking around empty lots (where I assume they would have buried the guy). There is also lots of satanic pentagrams and drywall.
From what I could gather, they all wanted to kill this dude, but they could never figure out when to do the deed. I think I know why. Danish dudes talk a lot. They talk in chairs, they talk on streets, they talk in forests, and they talk in kitchens. They have really nice kitchens. Do they have Ikea in Denmark?
There is one scene that is really chilling. This dude goes into a crypt and finds the original plans for killing the other dude. I think he was the actual guy who was going to do the actual deed.
I think they also had problems with the camera because there is lots of pictures of them futzing with their cameras. I don't know if you need special film for murders and stuff. After a while, the dude they are going to kill starts to get wise, then they run out of money and they just kind of give up. They all get jobs and have babies and get older. I'm not entirely sure that dude knew his friends were going to throw him off that roof and film it.
There is a commentary track but it's in Dutch, so I have no idea what they are saying.
All and all I thought, "The Film I'm No Longer Talking About" was pretty good. I know that Europeans don't value life as much as Americans do (because they don't have guns to protect themselves) and I don't feel like I should judge them. I'm still considering informing my DARE teacher, though. I recommend that you stop by the "foreigners" section at Video Jerks and pick it up. You'll need to rent a special Danish machine, but Video Jerks has all the foreign machines for rent (just don't loan it to Ricky Spinks).
Scott Pickler is the editor of the "Busy Bee" the second most popular school paper at Gerry Rafferty Middle School. He hopes be attending Harold High next fall. We have a note from his stepdad on file that allows him to rent rated-R movies if there isn't any 'boobies' in it.