Directed by:
Devin Schmiddt

Written by:
Michael Gruber-Schwartz
Daveed Severman
Andrew Shawicz

Rated: R | Runtime 80 | AKA: Termi-nerd

Mike Jergens
Video Jerks Customer

REVIEW: Filth. Total filth. Dirty filth. I should have known. I had such great luck with these VHS Red Bins. They have been popping up all over Harold and giving those snobs at Video Jerks a run for their money in the variety department. I should have expected that I would finally pick a loser. It should also be noted that I picked this one up a certain restaurant here in town that will go nameless (hint, they sell pull-tabs in the gift shop)

“Termi-Nerd” is the kind of low-class crud that passes as entertainment for the kind of people who get tattoos and listen to rap music. I used to consider DJ Qualls a pretty good actor. He was great in “Nail Biters” and “Wogan’s Fortunes”, but this movie is the pits. I guess it would be okay if you liked filthy language and watching people smoke marijuana cigarettes for ninety minutes. There are a lot of women with bare chests in this movie and I have no problem with the human form, but I don’t understand what the point is of having these young ladies press them against windows at seeming random intervals. It is shameful.

I was expecting at least some connection to the other “Terminator” films, but the only thing robotic about DJ Qualls in this movie is that he has a cybernetic penis. He goes from party to party and seduces young women almost effortlessly. Aside from the high filth quotient of the film, the total lack of any kind of conflict makes the story dull. At one point, his battery runs low, but then he has sex with Honda generator and is instantly rejuvenated. I think James Cameron should be ashamed for letting his franchise sink to such low depths. If this any indication what “Avatar” will be like, then I will be staying home.

I would return this movie to where I bought it, but instead I will tape over it, so nobody mistakenly buys it. I hope this is minor setback and my purchases from the Red Bins improve.

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